We can find our way to reconciliation, unity, and forgiveness on both small and large scales. It’s possible to learn to forgive and know that you will never agree with the other person’s point of view, but that you can still be civil and work together toward a common goal.
If we truly want to move forward and reconcile, whether that be in our personal relationships, or as a country, the way to start doing that is by implementing a few key steps. Keep reading after the steps for resources that offer a more in-depth conversation.
Acknowledge the hurt or pain caused. There can’t be reconciliation without accountability. Own up to what you’ve done wrong.
Don’t assume the worst. Believing the worst about someone keeps us from understanding one another.
Actively listen. Listen with radical empathy and ask questions. Radical empathy involves actively trying to better understand the feelings of others. Asking questions can help everyone feel heard and safe in disagreement. It’s also an opportunity for differences to be understood.
Stay calm. If things get intense, don’t snap back. Pause. Change the subject and come back to the conversation when you’re both ready.
Make the argument knowing they may not ever agree. Many of us with strong beliefs believe that our position is the only right and just one to have. Recognize that if that were true, we’d all see things the same way.
Resources
Radical Empathy:
Radical empathy: What is it and what are the benefits?, happiness.com
A Time for Radical Empathy, Terri E. Givins, TransformingSociety.uk.co
Forgiveness:
 Four Elements of Forgiveness, Ryan Howes, Ph,D,, Psychology Today
Reconciliation:
How to Talk to People Across the Political Divide, Naima Sakande, mashupamericans.com
From Betrayal to Reconciliation, Linda and Charles Bloom, Psychology Today
Healing the Political Divide, The American Psychological Association