{"id":7761,"date":"2016-10-07T13:11:45","date_gmt":"2016-10-07T18:11:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dev.thechicagoschool.edu\/"},"modified":"2023-07-03T23:21:11","modified_gmt":"2023-07-04T04:21:11","slug":"a-virtual-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thechicagoschool.edu\/insight\/from-the-magazine\/a-virtual-life\/","title":{"rendered":"A Virtual Life: How Social Media Changes Our Perceptions"},"content":{"rendered":"

In social psychologist Kenneth Gergen\u2019s, Ph.D., 1991 book, “The Saturated Self<\/a>“,<\/em> he warned of an Orwellian world where technology might saturate human beings to the point of \u201cmultiphrenia,\u201d a fragmented version of the self that is pulled in so many directions the individual would be lost. \u201cI am linked, therefore I am,\u201d he famously said, playing on Descartes\u2019 \u201cI think, therefore I am.\u201d Little did Dr. Gergen know how dead-on his prediction would be.<\/p>\n

Because as our society sits here more than 20 years later with our tablets and cell phones and electronic gadgets\u2014seduced by the lure of the blue light glow\u2014we have never been more linked, more connected, and more bound to a virtual reality that many of us can no longer live without.<\/p>\n

\u201cTethered to technology, we are shaken when that world \u2018unplugged\u2019 does not signify, does not satisfy. We build a following online and wonder to what degree our followers are friends. We re-create ourselves as online personae and give ourselves new bodies, homes, jobs, and romances.<\/p>\n

A virtual life is shiny and bright. It\u2019s where you post your prettiest pictures and tell all your best news.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yet, suddenly, in the half-light of virtual community, we may feel utterly alone,\u201d writes licensed clinical psychologist and MIT professor Sherry Turkle<\/a>, Ph.D., in her best-selling tome,\u00a0 “Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less From Each Other.” Founder and director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self, the book is the third in a series on the effects of technology on society and culminates 15 years of research on the digital terrain.<\/p>\n

The long-term psychological impact of social media on individuals and their sense of \u201cself\u201d remains to be seen. But there is one thing we do know. Our daily lives have been digitized, tracked, and tied up in metrics. Our real selves have split into online avatars and profile pictures and status updates. And while social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn are powerful tools that have the potential to build communities, connect relatives in far-flung places, leverage careers, and even elect presidents of the U.S., they are also unleashing myriad complex psychological issues that have altered our collective sense of reality.<\/p>\n

A virtual life is shiny and bright. It\u2019s where you post your prettiest pictures and tell all your best news. \u201cIn games where we expect to play an avatar, we end up being ourselves in the most revealing ways; on social networking sites such as Facebook, we think we will be presenting ourselves, but our profile ends up as somebody else\u2014often the fantasy of who we want to be,\u201d Dr. Turkle writes. But is it real? More importantly, is it healthy?<\/p>\nRequest info<\/a>\n

The Unreal World<\/h3>\n

Ali Jazayeri, Ph.D., associate professor of clinical psychology at The Chicago School\u2019s L.A. Campus<\/a>, thinks there are clear and present dangers that can\u2019t be ignored.<\/p>\n

\u201cI definitely think that social media has had a very deep impact on our lives. The world that we see on Facebook and other social media sites is not a true and real world. It\u2019s a creation of people,\u201d Dr. Jazayeri explains. \u201cAmong other dangers that Facebook might possibly pose in our lives, such as lack of privacy, is this habit of always comparing ourselves to others. People, when they are happy, post a lot of happy things. But when I\u2019m not happy I will consciously, or unconsciously, compare myself to others. As a result, I create a world that is not a true world because I imagine that everybody is happy in that world, except me.\u201d<\/p>\n

While each social media site has its own personality and purpose, the wildly popular Facebook with its estimated one billion active monthly users has gained the most attention from psychologists for its potential to distort an individual\u2019s sense of self and sense of other people. The magnetism of social media in conjunction with the effects on reality while diminishing individuality comes with significant consequences.<\/p>\n

What concerns Jazayeri most, from a psychologist\u2019s perspective, is the danger of slipping too far into a virtual world and losing a sense of real life, real self, and real priorities.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A 2011 clinical report on \u201c<\/span>The Impact of Social Media on Children, Adolescents and Families<\/span><\/a>,\u201d published in Pediatrics, the official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, was one of the first to raise the issue of \u201cFacebook depression\u201d among young people worried that they weren\u2019t accumulating enough \u201cfriends\u201d or \u201clikes\u201d in response to their status updates.<\/span><\/p>\n

Around the same time, Cecilie Andreassen, Ph.D., and her colleagues at the University of Bergen (UiB) in Norway published a piece about their work with the <\/span>Bergen Facebook Addiction Scale<\/span><\/a> in the journal Psychological Reports. And this all came on the heels of <\/span>somewhat controversial news<\/span> that the American Psychiatric Association was considering the addition of \u201c<\/span>Internet addiction<\/span><\/a>\u201d in an appendix to the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).<\/span><\/p>\n

What concerns Dr. Jazayeri most, from a psychologist\u2019s perspective, is the danger of slipping too far into a virtual world and losing a sense of real life, real self, and real priorities.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSome people use this social media to create something that they are not,\u201d he says, explaining that the virtual world can distract people so much from their real lives that they either forget who they are or become so involved in the reality they\u2019ve created that they don\u2019t want to work on their own issues. <\/span>Social media can ultimately create a false sense of reality.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cInstead of me trying to deal with things I don\u2019t like about myself, I will go online and present myself in the way I\u2019d like to be seen, without any changes to me,\u201d Dr. Jazayeri says. \u201cIt\u2019s dangerous, and very deceptive. If you look at the history of psychology, we\u2019ve spent the last 100 years trying to help people know themselves better, deal with their shortcomings, deal with things they don\u2019t want to have, so we have a very reality oriented atmosphere in our Western psychology.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Jazayeri worries that an overreliance on this virtual world is undermining all the progress human beings have made in addressing real-life problems. <\/span>Social media allows an escape from reality to the point of neglecting real-world issues and creating a false reality.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAs psychologists, we have theories based on the reality of patient\u2019s lives. Our goal is to help people try to see themselves for the reality of what they are,\u201d he continues. \u201cBut if we perceive that everyone else is perfect, then we push ourselves to become someone that we are not, and then we get frustrated, and then we get depressed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Like Dr. Turkle and other experts, he is careful to also note the value of such sites for helping people do everything from reconnect with old friends and family members to rallying community members during times of national tragedy or disaster. However, he believes we need limits\u2014that as a society we need to be vigilant about taking time to unplug, to disconnect, and to reconnect with ourselves and our real lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a statement that echoes Dr. Gergen\u2019s words from 1991, Dr. Jazayeri concludes by saying, \u201cSomeday, I hope we will appreciate that the computer is not a substitute for a real human being.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Consciousness, Collected<\/h3>\n

Eleazar Eusebio, Psy.D., formerly an assistant professor in the <\/span>School of Professional Psychology<\/span> at The Chicago School, has been fascinated with the concept of virtual worlds and social media since the early chat rooms of the 1990s.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSomething I like to talk about a lot in psychotherapy are the various dimensions of consciousness,\u201d he says. \u201cIt can get really psychoanalytical if you\u2019re going to look at what kind of behavior people are putting out there. I have been studying Jungian analysis, and I do find it interesting, especially when you look at personality types.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether your inner nature tends toward paranoia, narcissism, manic, depressive, or even melodramatic behaviors, Dr. Eusebio says these things unconsciously manifest themselves, rather publicly, in an online setting.<\/span><\/p>\n

As any Facebook user knows, there are \u201ctypes\u201d among almost anyone\u2019s collection of \u201cfriends.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to psychopathologize everybody who\u2019s online, but I think it\u2019s possible to take a quasi-diagnostic look at it when you examine what people write or how they interact online,\u201d Dr. Eusebio says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of all the social media sites, he says Facebook is a place where almost every personality type can be found and analyzed. \u201cThis is the best modern example I\u2019ve come across of what I\u2019ve been calling the collective unconscious personified. How do we choose to present ourselves to this world? In addition, at what point do we stop?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As any Facebook user knows, there are \u201ctypes\u201d among almost anyone\u2019s collection of \u201cfriends.\u201d Some use the site solely to promote their business or career. Others take the opportunity to share political opinions, while others post several status updates per day about things as banal as what they had for breakfast or what\u2019s on the dinner table. Some are a series of check-ins at restaurants, clubs, museums, and airports. There are braggarts and complainers; cheerleaders and naysayers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnline groups tend to triangulate people. This environment will provide you the tool to display any kind of psycho-pathology,\u201d Dr. Eusebio adds. \u201cCyberspace alone is a psychological extension of our own intrapsychic world. We all have various dimensions of our unconscious. And with social media, you can really dive into people\u2019s lives. The danger is we throw our reputations out there, and we put avatars attached to who we are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

While he says most adults have the foresight to screen their online behavior\u2014to think twice about who\u2019s viewing their status updates, photo albums, and check-ins,the more compulsive types often do not, especially if the posts are made in the heat of the moment, late at night.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOne notion we might overlook is whether we would be saying the same things or sending the same messages if we were face to face in a coffee shop,\u201d Dr. Eusebio wonders.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or, even scarier, a job interview.<\/span><\/p>\nRequest info<\/a>\n

The Professional Fibber<\/h3>\n

John Fowler received an <\/span>M.A. in Psychology<\/span><\/a> at The Chicago School\u2019s Chicago Campus in 2009 and for several years made his business teaching other professionals how to use social media to advance their careers. Three years have passed since he published his book, \u201cGraduate to LinkedIn: Jumpstart Your Career Support Network Now,\u201d and he says the social media of today is already vastly different.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cProfessionally, you say that you want to brand yourself. But you can sometimes get so lost in branding yourself the way you want to be perceived, that what you present online isn\u2019t who you really are. When potential employers meet you in person, they want you to be consistent,\u201d cautions Fowler, who now works at Deloitte Consulting and sometimes uses his social media background to help clients leverage their brands.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, in a virtual world where it is understood that everyone exaggerates and reality is always slightly distorted, the temptation to lie or stretch the truth is more pervasive than ever.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s one thing to post your prettiest vacation photos on Facebook or to exaggerate how wonderful your life is (for the clear benefit of ex-boyfriends or college rivals), but when it comes to using social media for your professional advancement on sites like LinkedIn, truth and ethics are just as important online as they are on your printed resume.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOne huge thing that\u2019s gone on over time is the social media world isn\u2019t always real. It isn\u2019t reality. I think we need to keep that in mind,\u201d Fowler says. \u201cThere\u2019s a fine line between branding yourself well and straight up lying and misrepresenting your experience.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Resumes have always been prone to exaggeration, despite the best advice to be ready to back up any degree or certification you might claim to have earned. However, in a virtual world where it is understood that everyone exaggerates and reality is always slightly distorted, the temptation to lie or stretch the truth is more pervasive than ever. <\/span>It then turns into a battle between\u00a0 truth and falsehoods originating from virtual reality and perceived expectations.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd for the younger generations\u2014people who were born into this age\u2014there\u2019s a danger there that they could possibly take this as the way the world is,\u201d Fowler\u00a0 continues. \u201cI think some people want to hide. You go on Twitter and you have an avatar, and you want to hide behind that. But when that doesn\u2019t match up to who you really are, especially professionally, that\u2019s when it comes back to haunt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That said, Fowler still believes in the professional power of social networking sites like LinkedIn, and more recently, Facebook pages being utilized by businesses and organizations. \u201cSocial media has its advantages and disadvantages. It\u2019s a tool, and like any tool, you can use it the wrong way. There are great things that come out of it. Just recently, it was instrumental in raising money for people who were affected by Hurricane Sandy. And I think it\u2019s going to evolve. The social aspect of these platforms is going to live on. What remains to be seen is how this will affect the way we conduct business.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Love in the Time of Social Media<\/h3>\n

In all of the incarnations and manifestations of social media in our lives, one aspect that can\u2019t be ignored\u2014particularly when it comes to how we present ourselves and perceive others\u2014is how the always-on, must-be-perfect virtual world has changed our most intimate relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re a single 20-something looking for a Mr. or Mrs. Right or a newly divorced parent dipping your toes back into the dating scene, online sites such as <\/span>Match.com<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>OKCupid.com<\/span><\/a>, and <\/span>eHarmony.com<\/span><\/a> have revolutionized the idea of how we meet and connect with new people. The fairy tale endings are legendary, as are the tales of love, loss, and heartbreak.<\/span><\/p>\n

But what is often overlooked is how the surreal world of social media affects people who are already in domestic partnerships, marriages, and other long-term relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

Melody Bacon, Ph.D., a licensed clinical therapist, assistant dean of academic affairs and chair of the <\/span>Marital and Family Therapy program<\/span><\/a> at The Chicago School\u2019s L.A. Campus, says social media and the distractions of technology cause problems for couples because they provide another way to disconnect.<\/span><\/p>\n

As far as affairs go, Bacon says if the will is there, people will always find a way.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Most people these days have heard stories about how Facebook and other social media sites that offer opportunities to chat or flirt online have wrecked marriages. But Dr. Bacon says we shouldn\u2019t blame Facebook any more than we should blame our 24\/7 dependence on cell phones or other digital technology.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn terms of relationships, it\u2019s just one more thing that keeps people from being able to connect and be together without fighting for attention. I know of young mothers with little kids. I see them at the park, the kids are playing or trying to get attention and mom\u2019s on Facebook or doing something on her phone. They think they\u2019re engaged with the outside world but they\u2019re not. Children are drowning with their mom and dad sitting there on their smartphones. They have no idea how disconnected they are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As far as affairs go, Dr. Bacon says if the will is there, people will always find a way.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf someone\u2019s going to have an affair or cheat in some way, it\u2019s just another opportunity,\u201d she says. \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s causing a problem, but I think it does make it easier. I don\u2019t think it necessarily starts relationships, but people become open, they start flirting, and over time it can become where they connect in person. If you have a partner who is unhappy in their marriage, they are more likely to be available to someone else online.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The question is, how \u201creal\u201d is that virtual paramour? And if the relationship is based on a carefully groomed online persona, how \u201creal\u201d are you?<\/span><\/p>\n

A Balance Between Social Media and Reality<\/h3>\n

That disconnect that Dr. Bacon refers to is at the very heart of what Dr. Turkle is chronicling in Together Alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAs we instant message, email, text, and Twitter, technology redraws the boundaries between intimacy and solitude,\u201d she writes. \u201cWe talk of getting \u2018rid\u2019 of our emails, as though these notes are so much excess baggage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Teenagers avoid making telephone calls, fearful that they \u2018reveal too much.\u2019 They would rather text than talk. Adults, too, choose keyboards over the human voice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The irony of it all is that we can see it happening\u2014to our kids, our friends, even ourselves. We know it\u2019s a problem, but we don\u2019t know how to stop it.<\/span><\/p>\n

As\u00a0 Dr. Jazayeri says, social media is here to stay and is a new reality we have to contend with. The question is, how do we find balance?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cSites like Facebook can be positive in connecting people. In my classes, we do family diagrams, and students are connecting with people across the country or across the world. Facebook is great for meeting up with people that way. It can be positive, but to a limited degree. Because once you\u2019ve made that connection, unless you talk on the phone or have some verbal communication, you\u2019re limited to verbal sound bites,\u201d Dr. Bacon says.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Tom Barrett, Ph.D., department chair and an associate professor in the clinical psychology department at The Chicago School\u2019s\u00a0 Chicago Campus, shares many of the same concerns as his colleagues about people losing themselves in this new virtual world. But he also believes that the motivation for connecting online is the same as it\u2019s always been\u2014a human urge to belong, and to be accepted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that the ability to network this way is a problem. People have always experienced the range of emotions from the insecure to the confident,\u201d Dr. Barrett says. \u201cI think we tend to think the technology is what is causing the problem but we just have a new way of expressing an old problem. It\u2019s a long-standing reality that people struggle in relationships. This is a new way to disconnect from your family, or partner, or loved one, but it\u2019s just a new form of doing an old thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As Dr. Jazayeri says, social media is here to stay and is a reality we have to contend with. The question is, how do we find balance?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI definitely do not want to discard the benefits of all this connectivity, but there has to be a limit to it,\u201d he continues. \u201cI hope people can begin to recognize that Facebook and social media can\u2019t be a substitute for everything in their life. Instead of me sitting and reading other people\u2019s posts on Facebook for two hours, I can go do some community work. Maybe I need to ask myself, \u2018why do I always have to be so busy with someone who is not real?\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As Dr. Gergen said more than two decades ago, \u201cI am linked, therefore I am.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Do we want this to be our future, our reality? What happens from here is up to us.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re interested in learning more about how social media and the virtual world have impacted people\u2019s idea of reality and individualism, study <\/span>Psychology & Behavioral Sciences at The Chicago School<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*This article, originally appearing in the Spring 2013 issue of INSIGHT magazine, was updated in July 2023.<\/em><\/p>\n

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